How hard is Teaching?
Some parents play catch-up most of the time, some don't really know what they are doing...things just seem to happen & some only address what they don't like.
Everywhere I go with my kids I hold myself accountable to one question:
What did I "teach" them? I teach music & coach Football & Swimming for a living & therefore work with other peoples kids every day. I have fundamentally found 2 ways of teaching someone.
Firstly: By simply showing them how. Monkey see...monkey do. When we enter into a new environment that my kids can misinterpret as a playground, I explain the nature of the place we are going to. What people do when they go there & if they become unsure what is appropriate at any point...just watch what daddy does! We have constant communication throughout our time there so that I can direct their attention to people around them. Watch what the people do. Isn't that exactly what we do as adults when we go to a new environment?...we watch the people. Whenever people are unsure they look at each other.
And Secondly: By telling them how NOT to do things
By telling someone where not to pay for their goods in a store, only means they still don't know where to go. We can never assume our kids know the right way if we focus most of their attention on the wrong way. The funny thing is, kids are unlikely to even entertain a wrong thought if their attention is only focused on the right way of doing. Allot of parents wait for things to go wrong before they realize their kids don't understand how to apply themselves in this environment... & then think all is well after only telling them what NOT to do & how NOT to behave.
I understood this in a new way when I watched a program of a man that was found in one of the 3 most remote civilizations on earth. They had no contact with any other people on earth until they were found by those leading an expedition to remote places. After spending allot of time with the tribe & learning their way of communicating, one of their tribe leaders wanted to go back to where these white-skin-people came from...
Imagine walking with an adult that has NEVER seen ANYTHING that you know today. You have to teach them everything...!!! Our kids are no different.
What was quite profound & apparent to me is that they never spent any time or energy or focus on "how NOT to do things" but simply showed the man the right way. To that man...that one way of doing was the only way. The wrong way was never even a thought!
Teaching someone is really hard work because it requires an external focus. It requires you to have a capacity for more than just yourself.
Our time with our kids is very short...Make it count!