When am I "Grown UP"?
This Morning while making breakfast, my 5 year old just gave me permission to keep looking for happiness: She asked me"So what do you want to be when YOU grow up"? I am 40...
Before I could answer she quickly stated her desire to be a chef ( I truly believe at this point it is only aimed at her own constant eating all day, because I still decide what she gets to eat all day) I think she really wants to be in the driving seat of those decisions & she would like to be a Zoo keeper (also to feed the animals). So Happiness to my 5 year old is eating all day...& the animals are also eating...
To buy myself some time i replied: "Wow...that's a BIG question Peta, let me think a bit".
My thought process looked like this:
She looks at my age & thinks, That's grown up. That's where you get to execute all your desires. I look at my self & think. I'm still such a confused child & Only now do I feel i have a better handle on the things that make me truly happy. Plus I'm still trying to figure out if the universe has stated that I'm done with my "growing-up" while I'm actually still deciding what the hell I want to be.
I look at some one that's 80 & I think...ok That's grown up to me. Surely you should have your ducks in a row by that age...& my 5 year old just confirmed I'm not grown up yet...I still get to dream & choose occupation number.........9 !
When is it over for us? I'm a firm believer "It ain't over-till its over". I think most people have a late start to life & its BIG questions. There is such an unusual emphasis in our world on age & its usefulness, on desire & its seemingly temporary window to "catch it". Sport has a particular hand to play in when you are use full & when you are done. When you are deemed an investment & when you've reached your expiry date. When most athletes have reached this date of expiry most occupations have just only kicked off & started to learn their trade. By this time most people have just stared a family...
The following words are tattooed on my back...
"Dream as if you will live forever - Live as if you will die today"
I hope you will keep dreaming & starting new things like there will never be an end to your existence...& I may you grab every day in your hands like its the last one you will hold & linger in your happy place.
Happy holidays