Here is my vow to you. I think a quality & meaningful conversation is determined by the quality of the question. I will only discuss questions that hold meaning. I will be informed & educated in my opinion that will only be grounded in experience...lots of it. I will make a clear distinction between opinion and observation.

The following lens through witch this conversation initiates is completely important. The start point...the home note...the basis from witch something is explained is what creates this perspective I speak of. If you miss will read through the wrong lens. You will hear something I am not will conclude something I do not intend to convey.

Lets pick up our specs...

Imagine you are issued 25 000 days to live from the date of your birth. Imagine this is a standard life cycle for every person. There is a digital clock counting down days in your retina. Every day is recorded & stored without memory corruption. Ready to be retrieved and analyzed at will. Every life cycle ends with a simple fall asleep routine at the end of your expiry date. You are subject to the same biology as we know it now but you cannot exceed the date of expiry. (No, this is not a movie idea...this is a mere context of time).

25 000 days gives an approximate 68.5 years. (no leap years included)
68.5 years divided into 3 thirds of your life will =
three cycles of 22.8 years.
The following math will not add anything to this context but some might find it interesting to measure progress.

22.8 years divided by a further 3 thirds =
7.6 years. Some cultures & people believe that big life changes or events or new avenues takes approximately 7 years to accomplish or establish or to change something important. You do not have to agree with this idea. Your number by witch your life has changed shape might be bigger or smaller. (My life has proved to change drastically around every 7 years so far).
This is the basis of our concept...TIME. But why be so dramatic about it? We could just take a normal life cycle as we know it. The problem with that context is our very nature. As soon as we learn of something coming to an end or suddenly have an awareness of the temporary nature of something, human behavior is oddly different. As much as what we do not want to be aware of the end of something we love or inspires a very different emotional effort & cognitive engagement toward the things that matter to us & has meaning to us.

Every life cycle comes to an end. Just because we don't know the "When" & "How" we are allot more blaze about everything. If you believe you will live to see a 125 years old you live life with a lower intensity than some one just learning I have a year or 2 left to live.

If you are able to remind yourself of this foundation throughout your reading...this pre-text...this context of TIME...25 000 days for your life will have less internal debate & hear me better.

If we understood the temporary nature of time, it is my humble opinion that we would start our life at a very different point, than what we all know we have & see around us.

I believe we will start with 4 Questions...

The 1st Question is:
What do I want?

It is my opinion that "want" is what keeps us alive. Every one that I have met & know, wants something. They are striving for something...they are working toward something. I have never met any one that does not desire a single thing. I have met allot of people that have no clue what they want. I have also met quite a few that have never really thought about it in such a direct & conscious form. I see this because I obnoxiously ask absolutely everyone I meet. Before you start writing in the blank space below, allow me to clarify exactly what I mean...

The most common response I have observed after being asked what people want is: "what are my options". Whether this is in a for shoes, clothes, food, cars whatever you can think of. We merely pick one & go. Certain decisions have already been made for us. I am not finding fault with that. I am stating the difference between options to choose from & something new, something authentic to you. So to narrow down what I am communicating...your list below will naturally exclude anything that has been pre-decided. Does this mean I cannot "want" the things that have been pre-selected? Not at your hart out...BUT that is not what I mean with this particular start point for your life of

...What do I want....
Here you should think outside of what is familiar and known to you. This is your slate to be inventive. After all... you are only here once.
To help you start your list, the first thing for me:

What do I want?
.I want a healthy family with healthy habits. (I never had this as a child)
The 2nd Question In my opinion is:
"What do I want do develop"?

Here is an example that will ground this idea for you....
I spend allot of time in toy shops. I have 4 kids. To them a Toy shop is a scaled down version of the world where they get to be in control & explore. As I was sitting on the floor next to my little ones watching them explore the concept of each toy they see, you quickly define people that know what they are doing in there and those that have no clue what they are looking for. After the fifth time a lady came by our isle, I couldn't help myself anymore & had to ask: "what are you looking for". Then follows the same reply I always get..."well, the little one is aged between so & so, and I don't have allot of time"

My answer has never failed to instill a blank dumb stare when I ask: "So what do you want to develop"? A toy shop has a catalogue at the front door. In the catalogue they highlight 8 developmental areas of a child. Every toy in a toy shop is a mere suggestion of how to develop that area. If you do not know what you want to develop, you will have no idea what to buy. You will grab the first thing that YOU like, at the price that seems about right and get out of there.

I have been teaching music for 24 years now. When students really connect with you, trust you & love you...they stay with you for many years. This means you get to know Mom & Dad as well. Countless times I sat with crying parents asking my opinion on how they got things so wrong with their kids. What they thought they were developing & what the results proved to be, are 2 very different outcomes. It is quite hard to know what you are developing in your kids, if you cant answer this for yourself, because your kids simply watch you more than what they listen to you.

I think it is clear how to apply this to your life. Much of the direction your life will follow has almost everything to do with what you want to develop in yourself. This is not necessarily just 1 thing. It is most probably a collection of things as 1 thing cannot be the some of my parts. You have many also grow & change over time in needs and possibly convictions of strong ideas. If we expect growth & change from a child, we should easily understand that we ourselves still continue to grow and change. This process does not stop at any particular age. It is a process till the end.

For this very reason of growth...I will revisit these questions regularly over the course of my life, as a way of "calibrating myself" if you will...
To help you start your list, the first thing for me:

What do I want do develop?
.My ability to understand absolutely everything about the people I allow close to me.
(Nothing is more distracting & wastes more time than having the wrong people around you).
The 3rd Question In my opinion is:
"How will I get what I want"?

There is always an application to a theory or idea. This is where things become practical. This is also where things go very wrong if you have no recipe.

In order to understand this better...let me shed light on a typical problem. Most things you could possibly want involve people in some way. It is rare that we acquire or accomplish anything that holds meaning outside the context of people. Whether its sharing an experience or making a new memory or achieving something great revolves mostly around interactions with people. But people can turn on us and hurt us, love us and leave us.

If you do not understand & learn how to align your method with your intent, you will have a very hard time to answer "How will I get what I want"?
People can only be on the receiving end of us. They are not inside our head, heart or emotions. They only work with what you give them. What they receive from you is either, very clear with little to no chance of misinterpretation OR it creates more conflict in the way they respond to you.
Every one lives life with a particular intent. The skill of a great communicator is to be sure people walk away with the correct message you intend to convey. If your METHODS with people have a way of distorting your have a serious obstacle in your quest to answer "How will I get what I want"?

You are responsible to communicate yourself effectively. The poorest skill I have ever observed among people in every form of society is this very issue. The most successful people (not monetary success) I have ever observed in every form of society made this their greatest attribute.
To help you start your list, the first thing for me:

How will I get what I want?
.Everything rises and falls on relationships. (no relation with someone happens without effort)
The 4th Question is a three fold definition:
In my observation of people & their quests for life, I have noticed 3 "undefined things" that have reeked havoc in peoples lives because they just didn't bother defining these things for themselves before they set off in a direction of desire.

"What is LOVE to you"?

"What is Perfection to you"?

"What is HAPPINESS to you"?

My opinion is that people don't bother defining these things for themselves because they seem too philosophical in nature. Yet I will argue that these 3 definitions are the very things most people strive toward or work for or dedicate their lives toward in different ways through each persons individual quest. Some people have the answers to most questions except those that hold true meaning. This is like setting off toward an undefined goal. Can my definition of these things grow with me as I age through life? I can only imagine. But I cannot see how growth can be measured in something that is unknown or undefined.

I have seen sad events where people unravel & healthy habits fall apart because they cant seem to figure out what they want LOVE to be for them.
I have seen families destroyed because people don't know when good good enough or it might be all there is.
I have seen countless people walk in circles emotionally. Not gaining any ground because they don't know what happiness looks like for them.

These are the 3 GREAT distractions I call them. Undefined, unrated & uncut diamonds in your heart that I believe all people covet at some point in their lives. If its not will someday.

I recall when I studied music, sitting on my ass for 8 hours a day, 52 hours a week, dedicating myself to that cause. I eventually started asking myself "what is this all for"? I almost lost my marriage twice in one year. That's how I know this to be true...if you don't ask yourself these questions now, you eventually will, just keep grinding long enough.

If I only have 25 000 days. Is there really a wrong time to ask the right questions?

Thank you for Listening.